


Octopussy

by MaatMons



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Decisions, Ectobiology, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 06:25:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4614621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaatMons/pseuds/MaatMons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxy makes… something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Octopussy

Your name is Roxy Lalonde. You're about to present your project for Ectobiology 1001. The score you receive here will account for 40 percent of your final grade for this course. You are so fucked.

 

This is your first semester at New York University. Not your first semester of college, mind you. Oh no, you've already got two years under your belt at Buffalo State. You did great too, aced all your courses. This academic stuff is easy when you're not getting wasted all the time.

 

Yeah, Buffalo was your home town. Your mother could keep an eye on you there. You couldn't very well stay out partying all night when you were still living at home. Mom would have come down on you so hard. Here, you finally had a taste of true freedom. You… could probably have handled it better.

 

You should have started on this project way earlier than a week before it was due. But you were too busy partying, and the project was a problem for future you. Sitting in the lab late at night, wracking your brain for a way to salvage this situation, you had a bit to drink to calm your nerves. Well, more than a bit. You kinda sorta got a little bit totally blackout drunk. You woke up the next morning in a puddle of vomit and discovered the results of whatever you'd been up to during the night.

 

In the tank of the main recombinator, thrashed an abomination, a crime against nature… your salvation. Sure, it was hideous to behold and would haunt your dreams until your dying day, but at least it was something to turn in.

 

Okay, you'll definitely start exercising more self-control. You're still pulling at least B's in your other classes. If you can just bullshit your way through this, your grades won't be so bad as to arouse suspicion. Plenty of people get lower grades after transferring to a new school. Different schools have different ideas about what each letter grade means.

 

You take a look around the room. All eyes are on you. Gulp. "My project," you begin, "is a hybridization of Octopus vulgaris with Felis catus. That is to say, the common octopus and the housecat. Combining such disparate creatures as mammals and cephalopods is fraught with challenges. Nevertheless, I was able to persevere." That's right everyone, this all was not only intentional, but the product of long hours and hard work. You're off to a good start.

 

"The psychology of the resulting creature is unique and fascinating. He inherits the cat's hatred of water. He perceives being wet is a horrendous ordeal, only marginally preferable to death. And yet, like an octopus, he can only survive out of water for short periods of time. His existence is nothing but suffering, and his only dream is vengeance against those that created him." The class is beginning to shift uncomfortably. Oh no, you're loosing them. Better go straight to the reveal.

 

"Behold!" You shout, pulling back the sheet you had draped over the tank. No one gasps in horror. There is no shrieking nor fainting. That's odd. You look over to your creation, but it's not there. Just a fish tank with the lid duct-taped closed. Wait a minute. The tape that secured the little feeding hatch has come lose. Oh no. Oh no!

 

"Aaaaaughckt." You hear a scream cut short from over by the door, where your professor was sitting. The class is suddenly in an uproar. You spin around to see a misshapen mass of wet fur and tentacles wrapped around the professor's still form. Most of his neck is missing. Blood drips from the little number-three-shape of the creature's mouth. It lifts itself up and stretches its jaws wide. "Mmmroooowr," it groans. But unlike its usual cries, this one is tinged with another emotion, victory. It's blocking the only exit, you realize.

 

Your professor is dead. Most of your classmates are soon to follow. This is so going to affect your grade.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I finally got around to putting words in order and posting them on this site. My dashboard looks a little less sad now.


End file.
